At Weaselballs.com, we have a pretty niche business. We sell
weasel balls, and that's all. We don't sell underwear, lawncare supplies or
automatic weapons... anymore -- just a weasel and a ball, inextricably
linked, forever and ever. The seasons will pass -- years may
fly by, yet the weasel and ball relationship remains consistent. The
weasel desires the ball, yet the ball is indifferent, maybe even a
little bit distant. It flees. The weasel pursues. It is comedy and
tragedy all rolled into one.
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Holy crap, this weasel loves this ball. The ball however, does not seem
too fond of the weasel. What can be done?
This weasel cannot get enough of this ball. Try to separate the weasel
and the ball -- go ahead and try. It's not going to happen. Do you know
why? The weasel's love for the ball is too strong. It transcends
definition. That's why.
AA battery not included.
Please allow 2-4 weeks for shipment of your Weasel Ball, though you will
probably receive it much sooner. Weaselballs.com only ships domestically to the United States (and APOs).
Read more below for some of the hundreds of thousands of reasons why you need a Weasel Ball RIGHT NOW.
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What is a Weasel Ball?
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A Weasel Ball is a battery operated motorized ball that darts around to
and fro, all while a relentless weasel gives chase. Oh, the craziness.
Watch the
weasel desperately flip around, attempting to cling to the ball. It's
like a Pepe LePew cartoon, except, it is a weasel and not a skunk. And
the weasel is in love with a ball, not an unfortunately painted cat. And
the weasel is silent (sans the ball motor), generally odorless and made
in China. But besides all those things, it's pretty much exactly like a
Pepe LePew cartoon.
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(Note: Weasel Ball is not alive)
Why Do I Need a Weasel Ball?
Weasel Balls Make Great Gifts
Weasel balls are a gift you can give the whole family! Is there a
better way to say "I love you" then with the gift of a weasel ball? No
there is not.
Cat Torture
Cats love the Weasel Ball. And by love, we mean hate. Most cats
hate the Weasel Ball and want to attack, scratch, bite and kill it. Some
cats are just deathly afraid of it. It's
fun. If you let your cat have a little too much me-time with the weasel
ball, it may get ruined. No worries though, because then you can just
order another one. Or seven. Ruin all the weasels you want, we'll make
more! And by "make" we mean "order from China."
To Gain Popularity and Acceptance Among One's Peers
Bring it to a party. It will be a big hit. Then everybody will
remember you as The Weasel Ball Guy.
"Hey! It's The Weasel Ball Guy!" they'll say. "Can I have your
phone number?"
"Damn straight you can!" you'll respond. Unless you're a girl --
then you'd say "HEY! I'm not a guy, you stupid jerk!" Either way, you
are now beloved, and you may thank the weasel.
Bragging Rights
All your life you have wanted to order something from a website
called WeaselBalls.com. That day has arrived. If you order more than
one, you can tell everybody you know that you "bought some weasel balls
off of the internet." The story alone is worth the purchase price
several
times over. If you so desire, we will write, at no cost to you
"CAUTION: WEASEL
BALLS INSIDE" on the outside of the box. We are
completely 100% serious. Your mail carrier will
think you are so awesome. If you desire to be less awesome, we can mask
the fact that you just ordered something from a website called
WeaselBalls.com. We will work with you to fulfill your Weasel Ball
needs.
They're Animal Friendly
The weasel fur is made of acrylic, a synthetic fabric that is not
derived from an animal. If you're a vegan, or you just own a pair of
birkenstocks -- have no qualms about ordering a Weasel Ball, for it is
neither real nor edible. You should never ever attempt to eat the
weasel. The previous sentence is a good general guideline on how to live
your life.
The Weasel Ball Teaches a Valuable Lesson
Never ever give up.
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Is this store some kind of joke?
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No! We are a 100% absolutely legitimate serious Weasel Ball Super Store.
Order your Weasel Ball Now! We want your business! Come on!
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Order Now!
Sure, the box says "Weazel Ball", but ours are "Weasel Balls"
because we hate the letter 'z'. Hey, what can you do?
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